Random by Lesley Choyce

Author:Lesley Choyce
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book, JUV000000
Publisher: Fitzhenry & Whiteside
Published: 2011-07-10T16:00:00+00:00

In fairy tales, people get lost in forests. Then good or bad things happen to them. Right now, you could probably say I am lost. Sort of. I don’t really know the way back but I am confident that if I keep walking, I will come out somewhere. This is not the Northwest Territories or anything, where if you got lost and decided to walk in one of several perfectly wrong directions, you’d hike maybe a thousand miles before you bumped back into civilization. No, this is not like that. This forest has been whittled down and, in my lifetime, may even be gone, I am sad to say.

Did it ever occur to you that we are all headed in the wrong direction? Civilization, I mean. We are kind of like in the Northwest Territories and have said, I think I’ll walk in that direction. And it’s the wrong one. Hah. Sometimes I think we are all lost. Not just me.

There’s no trash in this part of the forest and the trees are closer together. The leaves above keep out the sun. It is womb-like here and I sit down on a cushion of star moss that is very soft and welcoming. I allow my mind to clear and grow peaceful. My voice, as I speak, seems to be coming from somewhere else, not from me, but I find that rather interesting as well.

What I’m feeling, I suppose, is rather primitive. This is what people used to feel in a forest. Native people, older people. The forest as home, as sanctuary. This feels so different from school or sitting in front of a computer. I realize now I am looking for something here. And I’ve found something but it’s not easy to explain.

I feel connected. That’s it.

Connected. A good word if ever there was one. Because when I was twelve, once I’d lost them, I felt totally disconnected. And part of me has ever since. But there is a thread to things ...

A thread. A thread to things? Where did that come from? That’s one of the funny things about me. Despite my beliefs, I keep trying to connect things. I keep trying to have things make sense. This happens when I let my guard down. Like now.

And I know this is all gibberish and, if you are listening, you are wondering if it is time to just give up on me. Am I insane? Am I just blathering? Is this going anywhere?

The answers are Yes, Yes, and No. So there. Shoot me.

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